When you google “how to be single” a myriad of articles pop up, but they all fall under two camps: “10 Steps for Finding a Partner” and “You Don’t Need No Man, Date Yourself!”
What I didn’t find was any reflection on the actual act of being alone, especially as a person who enjoys and seeks out relationships.
Before I dive in I feel it important to note, I have been single for a decent amount of my life. I have also spent about three cumulative years in loving partnerships, and after 23 short years of life I have come to the conclusion that I don’t like being single. It’s not that I don’t love myself (I do) or that I need the approval of another human to be happy (I don’t), but I feel like the best version of myself when I have somebody at my side. I’m a good girlfriend. I like to have somebody to give to, I’d rather not sleep alone, and I have an endless amount of love to share.
As a single person, I have been told so many times that I should use this time to fall in love with myself, to date myself, to be with me. But what to you do if you already love yourself? I did my self-discovery and if anything, I did most of it while in relationships. It’s not that I feel uncomfortable being alone, but I feel more like myself when I have somebody to love.
But the number one thing I struggle with as a single person is I miss touch. It’s socially unacceptable to have the level of touch you have with a partner with anybody else. And I’m not just talking about sex; there is something inherently comforting about being held all night, about being able to hold hands as you walk down the street, about cuddling deep into somebody’s arms. Humans crave touch, it is part of who we are, and while I think it is all fine and dandy to tell single people to fall in love with themselves, I think it is important we also acknowledge that lacking touch and companionship is hard and it is not bad to miss those things.
I also truly believe it is good for us to figure out how we work and what makes us happy. If you are happy being single, that is awesome, if you’re not, that is also awesome. But don’t just take it from me, Hannah Witton says it beautifully in this video.
What do you think of being single? Do you love it, do you hate it, what do you like? Let me know on twitter! Tweet me at @hannnnnnnnahhh.