Interested in working your way up but not sure where to start? Here’s a guide to ease your tension.
This is the year of anal, of all things butt related, and we couldn’t be more excited or on board. Here is some insight on how to properly, and comfortably, enhance your anal play experience for a beginner’s anal sex toy adventure.
If you’re a couple, or a single, introducing anal sex toys into your intimate life can enhance erogenous zones and impact anal stimulation.
We spoke to Searah Deysach, the owner of Early to Bed, a Chicago-based feminist sex shop, about beginner tips on exploring your bum with toys. She explains that folks should “start off slowly and work their way up to bigger toys.”
Before using a toy, try using a gloved, lubed finger to insert into the anus. Ask your partner, or do it yourself, in order to get used to the sensation. Do not use an in-and-out motion until you are comfortable with the feeling.
Searah says, “If you are really new to anal play a small 100% silicone plug or vibe is a great way to get your body used to the sensation of something in your butt. If you have had a finger or such in your butt before, you can probably start with something slightly larger.”
- Anal beads are graduated spheres made with a flexible material. Once you’ve experimented with your finger, work your way up slowly to get an understanding of what your body can tolerate with more length and girth. For people with a prostate, Searah says, “Consider a toy with a bit of a bend in it as it will put pressure on that yummy spot.”
- Anal dildos are typically shaped to hit the sensitive area of the back of the vagina and the prostate gland. These are more intermediate for those interested in anal play.
- Anal vibrators can be introduced once you’re used to the full sensation. The vibration can actually stimulate the clitoris on the other side of the vaginal wall. They are perfect for intercourse and create a buzzing, tingling feeling during sex.
There is no need to necessarily use a douche or enema for beginners anal play. Although once you are more advanced, look into kits that can safely remove any waste for clean sex.
What should you expect?
Intensity will definitely be a factor but pain should never be a part of an experience. If there is any pain (which can definitely be possibly) “pull back, re-lube, and try again,” says Searah. She also explains that sometimes, the initial entry is intense but once the toy is inside, “It can be a nice pleasant feeling.”
Since your anus is typically an exit, having pressure by means of entry may seem strange. Do not use toys that you would insert into your vagina, as the vagina as more elastic than a rectum (also contamination!).
Getting used to feeling “full,” is an important component of anal sex toys. b-Vibe, an anal sex toy company, recently released their “Snug Plugs,” which are made for long-wear throughout the day. A toy like this can amplify your experience, especially since they come in three different sizes. The plugs are meant to “work your way up” and become familiar with the feeling of something being, for lack of a better word, up your butt.
Talking to your partner
Want to discuss anal play with your partner? Solo play is a great experience, but sometimes you want to share it with someone else, especially if you’re interested in anal sex.
As with any new type of sexual topic, communication and discourse is necessary. Your partner must understand health risks and proper safety before plowing in and around your anus (tearing is a very real and very awful thing to experience). Begin by discussing the topic outside of the bedroom rather than in the moment. Do your research and explain to your partner what type of anal sex toys you want to play with—a reminder: start off small.
The overall tip
Stay relaxed and use lube, lube, lube! HelloFlo has stressed the importance of lubrication, especially in an area that isn’t naturally lubricated. Searah agrees, “Being relaxed and ready is a really important part of making sure that anal play is fun and not painful. And lube! Using plenty of lube will make entry easier and is essential for any butt play!”
Searah says that thick lube is the best to use. “We usually prefer water-based lubes for easy clean up. We like Sliquid Sassy and Sutil. Both are very gentle on your body, long lasting and have a nice thicker texture for a little extra cushion. But if you have a lube you already like for other play, then using it for butt play should be fine.”
What shouldn’t you use as lube? Searah, among other experts, have voted against numbing cream, or numbing lube. “Numbing your anus can lead to tears and more pain later. If it hurts too much then slow down,” she says.
Don’t ever stick anything into the anus that doesn’t have a flange at the end, as the sphincter muscles can easily suck anything up into the body (creating quite a disaster).
Remember, anal sex and anal butt play isn’t for everyone. If you experiment with a toy and realize it isn’t your thing, totally cool. But if you realize it is your thing, congrats, you found a new pleasure zone.
Once you take the leap of investigating your own, or your partners’, backside, you’ll probably want to do some more digging. Plugs controlled by your smartphone, vibrational plugs, and stainless steel anal dildos are all in your future towards a happy sphincter.