Why Feminism Changed My Perspective on “Mom Wars”

Why Feminism Changed My Perspective on “Mom Wars”

Mom wars. This is a nasty situation that almost all moms will experience at some point.

The term, “mom wars” refers to a time when a mom or group of moms pass extreme disdain and judgement upon another mom or moms for certain parenting practices.  These wars are downright cruel at times.

Before becoming a parent, I’d heard that “mom wars” were a thing, but never really realized how much it would bother and affect me on a personal level.

I’ve also found that it is incredibly easy to get caught up in this judgemental practice, especially with all of the different parenting styles and practices out there (ex. co-sleeping, breastfeeding, formula feeding, attachment parenting, etc.). I mean, of course you’re going to think that your way and style of parenting is the best way-that everyone should do things the same way as you and that they shouldn’t even consider doing things differently.

But for me the deciding factor in stepping away from the “mom wars” and instead embracing moms were my beliefs on feminism.

Feminism is an incredibly important idea and belief in our society because it teaches the value in the freedom of choice and equality.  It is about building people up for their differences and not about “shaming” them.  It is about being united in the fact that people are different and eliminating societal “shaming.”

When I was getting caught up in these “mommy wars,” it ruined some potentially amazing friendships with some really strong and insightful women.  I was too busy picking apart every single thing that these moms were doing with their kids that I never gave the friendships time to flourish. Plus, I was super paranoid over all the other women “judging” me over my parenting style-so much so that it strongly affected my confidence as a mom.

Personally, I think mom wars are just wrong in general, but especially from a feminist’s perspective.  Just think of the amazing support that mom’s have to offer one another if they just put aside their differences.  These wars are just full of bullies that are doing nothing but harming everything that feminism has changed and is working towards.

I know that there will probably always be “mom wars,” but personally, I know that being a feminist has changed my perspective on them.  I joined a pretty incredible mom’s group, full of very different women and parenting styles. Even though we all think differently, it has been amazing to feel supported and support these other women, without passing judgement.  Feminism is about empowering other women and not tearing them down.  

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