At some point in history, someone said something that made it awkward for human beings to say that they’re twenty-something (or any age) and still a virgin. Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality, wrote a personal essay for The New York Times that challenges the awkwardness and makes it okay to say, “I’m X years old and still a virgin…so?”
For Hills, the decision to have sex came down to either being in love or waiting for someone who she liked enough and, as she writes, “trusted enough to expect our relationship to last more than a month or two after we did the deed.”
Even more so, the essay also touches on how portrayals of what a sex life should be like create standards that are hard to live up to in real life — with anything from frequency and creativity, to the decision of whether to have sex or not.
While Hills’ essay accounts for her very specific journey with her own sex life, the main takeaway serves as a welcomed reminder for any person who feels uneasy with his or her virginity or sexuality — the who, what, where, when and how of sex are for you to decide. And that’s more than okay.
Cover image courtesy of Shutterstock.