We seem to always be talking about peoples’ emotions or even our own. What is an emotion though? When it comes to my first period, there were six key things that I felt.
Terrified
I had just gotten home from a day out shopping at the mall with my mom. My stomach started hurting while I was at the mall, but I just thought I may have had too large of a lunch. I certainly thought it would pass.
It was a couple minutes after I got home that I discovered, in the bathroom, that I had gotten my period. My first period. I was terrified. For starters, I am not a good person with blood, so I had an initial fear to see blood, let alone knowing it was mine.
My first thought was, Oh my gosh. What’s wrong with my body? I was worried that I seriously hurt myself or something was wrong. It took a few seconds to realize that this was my period. Even though I figured out the mystery in red, I was still terrified.
Petrified
As the realization that I was having my period sank in, I went from terrified to petrified. I did not have any period supplies so I needed to ask my mom. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to approach this. So many thoughts began to race through my head. I thought about texting my mom for a pad (call me 21st century for sure) but I left my phone on the charger. Thank goodness I was at home.
I decided to make a makeshift pad for the time being. Shout out to those puberty girl help books. I went to my mom who was sitting on the sofa, reading a book, and told her I needed her help in the bathroom. I am not sure how she knew, but she knew it was my period. She told me she would get me something.
Scared
The something she gave me was some medicine to help with the stomach pain, which turned out to be cramps, and a box of pads. At this point, I was scared. What if I put the pad on incorrectly? I probably read the instructions on the box, which were only three illustrations, at least five times. I was scared that as I moved, the pad would move and I would bleed through my clothes. I knew that I could not hide in the bathroom forever with a box of pads.
Calm
I took a deep breath and was able to clean myself up. After a few hours in bed, I felt a sense of calmness. Everything was okay. The cramping did not hurt as much. I did not feel scared anymore. I was resting. I was calm.
Happy
At the age of 11, my first period indicated that I was healthy. To know that I was healthy made me extremely happy. The sight of my period made me think that something was wrong with me but I realized that it meant the exact opposite.
Proud
This last one may seem kind of strange. It seems strange to me just thinking about it. I ended my first period with a sense of pride. I did it. I survived my period. Health class, sex talks, and puberty books gave me an introduction to what my first period would be. However, experiencing it first hand was something completely different. This sense of survival and knowing I was moving forward with my life, growing up if you will, made me very proud.
A first period, like many other firsts, can be scary. It’s something unknown with many emotions to feel. However, knowing and understanding the emotions that are being felt can help through the situation. A first period is nothing to be afraid of. At the end of the day, you will survive.
Cover image courtesy of Shutterstock.
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