How can I tell how heavy my flow is and is it possible to make a tampon painless to remove?
This is definitely a question to ask your mom and/or your doctor. It can be very difficult to predict your flow. It can also be very difficult for someone who has not used tampons very often (or at all) to use a larger size. I always recommend starting with the smallest size and changing it more often if need be. This may be tough during a competition, but a larger tampon will be more difficult for you to take in and out.
The reason you want to speak with a trusted adult is that she can help make sure you are inserting and removing it properly. One embarrassing question can save you a lot of discomfort in the future.
Good luck in the meet!
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