I Shouldn’t Be Shamed for Loving Weddings But Not Wanting to Get Married

I Shouldn’t Be Shamed for Loving Weddings But Not Wanting to Get Married

I love weddings. Everything about them is gorgeous, from where they happen to how they happen.

If I hear that somebody is going to a wedding, chances are I will be incredibly jealous. There is nothing better than being in an atmosphere of extreme love, happiness, and family–and let’s not forget the food and dancing. If I could, I would throw a wedding whenever I was bored, just to be able to be at a wedding. You must be excited, thinking about how great it will be when I get married and get to do this. You probably think I have a list of eligible bachelors and a wedding planning binder, all set for my big day.

Here’s the big shock: I don’t want to get married. Or rather, I cannot see myself getting married in the future. The next words out of many people’s mouths usually are, “Oh, you just haven’t found the right person yet!” They may be right. Maybe one day somebody will walk up to each and every one of us who don’t want to get married or be in a relationship and make us change every personal philosophy we have ever created. After all, there are seven billion people in the world!

However, since there are only seven billion people in the world, many of whom are taken, it seems a waste to ponder over something that may or may not happen. It is out of our control, but we do have power over what we feel in the here and now. And personally, I feel like marriage may not be for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love everything about weddings.

I’m sure this perspective would sound strange to a lot of people. After all, there is the assumption that people who do not want to get married are also against the institution of marriage as a whole and therefore hate weddings as a form of protest. There is also the assumption that someone who doesn’t want to get married just isn’t married yet and will therefore bitterly walk around the wedding with a scowl on their face all evening. The simple truth to it is that it is possible to be happy for someone else without wanting what they have!

I’d like to take a moment to address another perspective. A lot of little girls and grown women are criticized immensely for planning their weddings without having someone to marry, while also being expected to get married. I think this stems from the idea that feminine topics are not taken seriously, or are considered unintelligent. What does that say about people like me, who don’t want to get married but love weddings? Are we the walking paradox of women who are “intelligent” or “strong” enough to walk alone without a man while also being girly girls who have twirled our hair and searched through bridal magazines for the perfect gown?

Ultimately, even women who don’t want to get married can appreciate the beauty of weddings. I have made the joke time and time again that I would enter a relationship and get engaged just so I could have a cute engagement photo shoot before calling the wedding off. I have even planned my Las Vegas wedding, backdropped by the Bellagio fountains, down to the last detail, and will probably revamp those ideas into a 30th birthday party just so they can be used.


Cover image courtesy of Shutterstock.