The weather is getting warmer, flowers are emerging from the soil, birds are returning north – and body-negativity abounds! As we start to shed our winter layers and spend more time out and about, we (particularly women, trans and gender-nonconforming people, and LGBTQ+ folks in general) are forced to deal with increased cat-calling, body-shaming ads, slut-shaming, and more. With all the negative messages out there, you might be wondering: What do I do to achieve that perfect body I hear so much about this time of year? And the answer is: Absolutely nothing.

At least, nothing in the realm of diets and exercise regimens. Here are some tips for how to enjoy the warmer weather with the fabulous body you already have:

 

1. Trust Your Body

Human bodies are magical and powerful things. Your body knows its limits and its needs, and it has ways of communicating those to you. We have been taught to override those messages in order to push past our limits or to deny ourselves what we need, but we can relearn the art of obeying our bodies. When it’s time for a physical activity like eating or sleeping or exercising, try to shift your focus away from the nasty voices in your head and listen instead to your miraculous body, which knows itself.

 

2. Relinquish Control

Life is hectic and often out of our control; shouldn’t we have control at least over ourselves? Well, in some senses, yes – but trying to exert control over your body and/or your weight can be a deceptive kind of control, since other people came up with and taught you the idea that your body needs changing or fixing. Letting go of our perfectionism, or our need for control over the way the world sees us, is a difficult and subversive act. Taking ownership of your body can be empowering, as long as you’re doing it on your own terms.

 

3. Wear What You Want

Learning to love your body and yourself might feel more difficult, but is actually more achievable, than any diet or exercise regime. And part of that process of self-love might mean you don’t actually want to wear a bikini right now – or ever! Some of us feel best in our bodies when we show a lot of skin; some of us feel best in our bodies when we cover them. Whatever your preference is (link NSFW), don’t let anyone tell you that it’s wrong.

 

4. Change the Conversation

Find ways to shut down body-shaming conversations that you don’t want to participate in or be around. Do be careful not to shame others or to silence someone who is processing their own experience of body-related oppression; you can be gentle and forgiving in the ways you protect yourself. This may mean removing yourself from the space, asking someone to change the topic, or carefully and kindly calling someone out by pointing out what made you uncomfortable and why (focusing on your own experience and reaction with “I” statements, rather than making assumptions about where they’re coming from or embarrassing them for what they said). You can also deflect or redirect the conversation with a joke or a non sequitur.

 

5. Focus on You

Try to catch yourself examining or commenting on other people’s bodies, especially if you find yourself comparing them to your own body. Remember that unrealistic body standards hurt everyone, even those who you may perceive to fit into them. Whenever you notice yourself paying attention to something negative about someone’s body, or envying something positive, focus instead on something you love about your own body. While you’re at it, try to examine what dynamics (race, gender identity, gender expression, ability, age, sexuality, etc.) may be at play in your judgment.

 

6. Find Your People

Spend time with people you trust to love and validate you, and find ways to celebrate yourselves together!

 

Mostly just focus on finding the good messages, because they’re out there. Find images, media, and information that empower you and that celebrate diverse bodies and body types. As I mentioned above, it is radical to own and love your body. It is also radical to inform yourself, and (if you want to) to join the beautiful celebrations that other people or communities have already started. Racist, ableist, sizeist, sexist, cissexist, heterosexist, gender-normative, ageist body standards – are so last season.

 

COVER IMAGE COURTESY OF SHUTTERSTOCK.

By Talia Baurer on March 25, 2016
Talia is a sex educator, writer, and advocate based in New York City. You can find her at any hour of the day talking about sexual pleasure and health, social justice, or Judaism - sometimes all at the same time! She was featured on HuffPost Live:On Campus for her column "Sexed and Perplexed" in the Wesleyan Argus. Sometimes she remembers to do social media at @tbaurer.