3 Steps to Understanding Positive Popularity

3 Steps to Understanding Positive Popularity

By Maggie DiPasquale

As a professional big sister, I get asked about popularity all the time. Sometimes we get caught up with who we’re hanging out with; what other people think of us; and what other people are doing. Let me tell you, that’s just regular popularity. It’s when we value how others see us more than we value how we see ourselves. I have positive popularity and you can too. Positive popularity is when we weigh our own view of ourselves over the opinions of others. It’s being popular with yourself first because when you’re happy with who you are, people will want to be around you! Here are the tips I use for positive popularity:

1. Ask Yourself: “Why?” 

Whenever I’m really focused on looking cool or am worried about what other people think of me, I ask myself, “Why?” Why do I want to be cool? Why do I want these particular people to like me? Typically, it’s because I want to get people’s approval as a way to feel good about myself. This is backwards! True confidence comes from digging yourself from the inside out. Ask yourself why and if you don’t have a good reason then stop trying so hard. Positive popularity focuses on what you like about yourself. What are some of your best traits? Get out a journal and write down all the things you love about yourself. Knowing that you’re awesome is where positive popularity starts!

2. Be Popular to the People Who Matter

I want to spend time with people who are there for me when life is good and when it isn’t perfect. I want to be accepted by people who like me just the way I am. I want to celebrate with people who love me. When it comes to popularity, I want to be positive popular to the people who matter to me. When regular popularity brings me down, I remember to focus on loving the people that deserve to hear my story.

3. Get Happy

All anyone ever wants is for you to be yourself and you’re at your most authentic when you’re happy. There are things that are unique and special to just you. It’s only when you’re joyful that you can share these gifts. What makes you smile? Have a dance party. Play with your pet. Paint a picture. Do the things that make you happy. When you’re joyful, you give other people permission to be joyful too.

The next time you’re worried about regular popularity, remember that you’re not alone. Everyone has felt the way you feel. True popularity, positive popularity, starts from digging yourself from the inside out. 

About the Author

With a passion for helping girls understand the connection between their minds, bodies, and spirits, Maggie DiPasquale created the Modern Mentor Program to help foster a generation of happy, healthy young ladies. As a self-help resource for girls, she implements her programs in schools and groups across the tri­state area. Some of the organizations she’s worked with include Athleta, Morgan Stanley, Fordham University, Ivivvia Athletica, Tuxedo Park School, Dominican Academy, Oak Knoll School, the Heartworks House, Pace University, as well as many others. She is a 200 hour yoga teacher and if she’s not lecturing, you can find her dancing. Maggie graduated from Boston College in 2010. You can find Maggie on her website, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Cover image courtesy of Shutterstock.