Do you get what you want out of sex? Statistically, we can tell you that the chances are, most often times than not, the answer is no. A study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that heterosexual women experience the least orgasms of all with reports of only 65% of women experiencing orgasms with male partners. For lesbian women, the percentage of orgasms labeled “usually to always” with a partner jumps to 86%. So, do you get what you want out of sex? Compared to a man, not half as often.

Straight men report 95% of their sexual encounters ending in orgasm and gay men reach a similar high with 89%.

Ladies, it’s time to bridge the gap. Thanks to experiments done in the lab, the secret to more (and better!) sex might just be on the horizon. That is, if we’re willing to take some advice from our friend, the rodent.

According to observations Daniel Bergner procured during lab research, rats demonstrate that the key to pleasurable sex is simpler than one may think. “Female rats do what feels good,” Bergner explains.

During sex, female rats initiate a type of “tag,” in which they dart back and forth from their partner mid-pump. The idea behind this tag tactic is that female rats enjoy receiving pleasure and since they want it to last longer, they prolong it by taking matters into their own hands.

If a partner ceases initiating sexual favors, the female rats followed and begged for more sexual interaction. So according to rats, it seems that the key is in taking the initiative. Here are three sex lessons we can learn from these scientific findings:

Only you know what you want.

Your partner is never going to magically figure it out. That’s why masturbating is crucial to understanding one’s sexual preferences and needs. The better you know your own body, the better you can help your sexual partner learn about your body.

Don’t be shy to vocalize.

In order to teach someone what you like in bed, you’re going to need to get vulnerable and vocalize your needs. Sure, it can be scary but if you trust someone enough to let them do the deed with you, you shouldn’t be so shy as to vocalize what it is you want, need, or like.

Your orgasm is important.

Let us repeat: Your orgasm is important! It is just as important as the other person’s orgasm; it is not less important. Make sure your needs are met. The first step to doing that is understanding that your needs matter.

Put simply in human terms: Ask for what you want. Take back your orgasm, ladies, by telling your partner exactly what it is you want.

Cover image courtesy of Getty Images

 

By Stephanie Osmanski on May 16, 2017
Stephanie is a chai tea enthusiast with a special penchant for telling apart the Sprouse twins. She works as a social media editor in the magazine industry and blogs about all things lifestyle at StephOsmanski.com. Her words have been featured on Seventeen, USA Today, J14, Parents, Hollywood, and more.