A Look At How Sexual Assault Can Impact A Person’s Sex Life

A Look At How Sexual Assault Can Impact A Person’s Sex Life

When we talk about sexual assault, we often discuss its harrowing physical and emotional consequences.

What is rarely delved into is the impact sexual assault and rape can have on a survivor’s sexuality and sex life. Below, I gathered research and personal anecdotes on how sexual assault can affect your sex life.

One common side effect of sexual assault is feeling detached or disconnected from one’s body. This is known as “dissociation” and is a very real and common defense mechanism for sexual assault survivors. RAINN describes dissociation as an, “out of body experience where someone feels detached from reality.” Dissociation can occur at any time, but according to NAMI, it is often triggered by abuse and can escalate during stressful situations. If having sex, even if it is consensual, reminds a survivor of being attacked, the survivor may go into dissociation.

Certain actions or phrases during sex may elicit fear or a flashback from a survivor.

“For me, there are certain places where if someone touches me, especially in a sexual manner, I freeze up right away,” says Liz, a 19-year-old student whose name has been changed for anonymity purposes. “I still feel that sense of shame [about being raped], and being touched like that just brings me back to a time in my life that was obviously really painful and scary.” Flashbacks and triggers can also occur during nonsexual encounters; according to RAINN, flashbacks are “connected with the senses,” meaning they can be triggered by a touch, scent, taste, or visual that was present during or near the time of the assault.

Dealing with these triggers may lead to an aversion of sex altogether, or repulsion towards sex. This is known as trauma-induced asexuality. Sometimes these feelings are temporary; sometimes they are permanent. While there is currently no medical evidence that asexuality itself is caused by trauma, the Office of Victim Assistance of University of Colorado Boulder has found it is very common for sexual assault survivors to experience feelings of sexual repulsion or fear. Again, asexuality is not always triggered by sexual assault; many people who are asexual have never been assaulted or were asexual before the attack. Trauma-induced asexuality is simply one of the branches of asexuality itself.

On the other end of the spectrum, some people engage in hypersexuality after sexual assault. This study from the U.S. Department of Justice National Institute of Justice describes hypersexuality as using sex and sexual encounters to cope with the “loneliness, fear, and sadness” that often come with sexual assault. A hypersexual person uses sex as a way to escape negative emotions, to feel connected to someone, and sometimes to attempt to regain control over sexual situations or relive their trauma in a consensual way.

RAINN puts it best in saying “there is not one ‘normal’ reaction to sexual assault.” If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. Everybody deserves to have a healthy relationship with sex and sexuality, regardless of their history with sexual trauma.

Cover image courtesy of Getty Images.